


Tu Bishvat ficlet

by Roga



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Crack, Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roga/pseuds/Roga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Plant-themed SGA ficlet written in honor of Tu Bishvat, 2008. Takes place during and after episode 4x13 "Quarantine", in which there is... a plant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tu Bishvat ficlet

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://roga.livejournal.com/130302.html) with more plant!fics in the comments.

Everyone in the lab resented Rodney.

This was, of course, entirely expected, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Rodney did his best to ignore them when they talked behind his back, but it wasn’t always easy to proudly stand erect and continue with his work. Especially now, when they were on a tight schedule, if everyone was going to survive this one.

“Prickly little prick,” he heard Chriloiduscrumpany Luponiodus mutter, and practically felt the hateful glare directed at him.

“It’s not fair,” added Kwadearobulia Proxlowana. “She shouldn’t have favorites.”

Leaves ruffled as more voices joined the conversation. “Sure, we get care,” said the Athosian White Mandrake, “but there’s no love. No tenderness. What’s _he_ done to earn it?”

“How about _work_?” Rodney snapped. “If you all want Katie to like you so much, how about you stop bitching and start giving her some more oxygen to live on? You heard what the guy said, they shut down the ventilation system. Now work your chloroplasts, life forms, work!”

It wasn’t exactly an inspirational speech, nor was Rodney technically their boss, so it was therefore no surprise when it didn’t work, and they continued as before. The lemon tree even snorted. Rodney hated the lemon tree. “You’re all just jealous,” he said loudly.

“Ya _think_? You get two syllables, and I can’t even pronounce my own name!” said weird-purple-plant-from-PX4-993-must-remember-to-name-him-later-tonight-and-hmm-find-new-pen-gosh-I’m-tired. Rodney winced. Even he felt sorry for the poor guy. But damn it, it wasn’t his fault. Rodney gave him the thorn.

“Rodney, you’re acting like a sprout,” Lemon Tree said, and before Rodney could give him the thorn too Lemon Tree said, “Hey, look! They’re getting out of here!”

And indeed they were. Rodney could sense a fresh burst of oxygen in the room as the ventilation system powered up again. Katie and the guy stood by the door and talked for a bit, and finally the guy left, leaving Katie behind, looking sad and a little bit broken. Rodney hated him immediately.

Katie stood there, wiping some salted H2O from her eyes, and finally got back to work, making her rounds around the lab, patting and squeezing and feeding the lot of them. But when she reached Rodney, she stilled. “I’m sorry,” she whispered finally, and gently ran a hand down his spine. “Goodbye.”

“What-what?” Rodney started to ask, surprised, but then she lifted him and carried him out of the lab and _closed the door shut behind him_.

Rodney sat in the hallway, shocked. “Hey!” he shouted, wishing he had branches he could bang on the door with. “You can’t do this to me! I’m a valuable part of this expedition! I’ve already been uprooted once before!”

Unsurprisingly, he got no answer. “Katie!” he tried again. This was really one of those times where vocal chords would have come in handy. Inside, he heard the other plants cheer. Now they’d have Katie all to themselves. “You bastards!” he yelled.

He sat there for hours, staring at the opposite wall in the hallway. At one point Katie stepped out and he filled with hope, but she just bent down to tuck a note against his stem, and disappeared again. They were the longest seven hours of Rodney’s life.

At night, when the fake lights of Atlantis dimmed and became even more useless, Rodney heard the crunch of dirty boots on floor slowing to a stop in front of him. “Hey there, little guy,” said a warm, gravelly voice. Its owner was wearing black, and his hair reminded Rodney of his own. “What are you doing down there?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Rodney replied testily. “Taking a bath?”

The man didn’t hear him, but bent down to take a closer look. Behind him, another man – a huge man, even huger than humans tended to be – grunted. “The note says he’s for adoption.”

“Aw, poor guy,” the black-clad man said. “He looks lonely.”

A third face came into view, this time a female. “I think you should take him, John.”

The man – John – smiled. “And I should hug him and kiss him and call him George?”

“Hey, _what_ now?” Rodney shouted. “No one is naming me anything. I have a name. It’s _Rodney_.”

But the girl didn’t seem to get it either, and John just sighed. “Never mind,” he said. “It’s an Earth thing.”

He reached forward and patted Rodney’s crown. His touch was surprisingly gentle. Kind of like Katie’s. “Hmm. Maybe I will keep him,” John said thoughtfully, and lifted Rodney up, holding him against his chest.

“Watch it, I prick,” Rodney said sulkily, but he actually kind of liked the idea of belonging to someone again, and also for not having to live in the hallway like a desert tumbleweed that couldn't roll.

“Well, Sheppard, I think you should,” said the huge guy. The girl hid a smile. John gave him a quizzing look. “The company will be good for you.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” John replied, clutching Rodney more tightly.

The man grinned. “Well, you know. A... connection. You don’t even have a pet or anything.”

“You don’t have a pet,” John pointed out, as they started walking.

“No, but me and Keller are going places.”

“Teyla’s not in a relationship.”

“Pregnant.”

“What about—”

“McKay’s halfway to proposing, if he hasn’t already.”

“Okay, fine,” John sighed. “But it’s not like I _couldn’t_ get someone if I wanted to.”

“Nobody thinks that, John,” said the girl, laying a hand on his arm and brushing Rodney in the process.

It was nice, Rodney thought to himself, snuggled between the two, and the big guy keeping their backs from behind. He continued thinking it was nice until John said, “I wonder if he’s edible.”

Rodney pricked him.

"Okay, I get it, ow" John said, giving Rodney an amused look. Oddly enough, Rodney was pretty sure he'd understood.


End file.
